on God's doorstep

the ::::ing computer
i am never writing from here again
good bye, cruel world

WHAT I CAN REMEMBER
damn it all, damn it all to hell's basement

.:breathe, breathe in the air:.

two guys, a girl, a pizza... and a church. our most unsincere apologies to any stoners, drug lords, hookers, crime bosses, secret agents, bums, or gangstas whose turf we intruded on.

yep *twisted grin*
NOINCing after ACT

before act, tho. ryan J mags n me out in the snow
jackass winter! its amazin what you can do with a folding chair cushion. snowboarding is fun. combine those sentances. add a camera.
during ACT- we head out for round 2. this time with nancy josh n lissa too. same deal, but then a fire truck pulls up by zupps. we're all curious and start to go over to look. J's mom comes out n calls us all bakc in, but we dont listen. instead we go across the street to see. when we decide to come back she has gone inside and closed the locked door after her. luckily i still have the key in my pocket, so we go around to the back and let ourselves in. all out of breath, we sit down trying not to look suspicious and try to get a conversation going. the subject turns to STDs and we invent a few meanings of our own:
.:. Students Take Drugs
.:. Sister Tames Demons
.:. Sandy's Too Dramatic
.:. Snap! Take Dat!
.:. See? Trevor's Dead
there were quite a few more, tho. The Sandy reference is not random. a little while before, we tipped over the bench we were sitting on and didn;t notice a purse fall off it. turns out it was sandy's. she comes over and sees it and launches into a lecture on how the act of throwing her purse to the ground is disrespectful and rude and unchristainlike. meanwhile we all try to get a word in edgewise, but she walks away pretty soon. now, 4 hours later, she still is steaming about it to J online. just another brick.
we also made a cheap birthday card for nancy out of an envelope and a napkin. she took it as the joke intended, tho which we hoped for.
(time passes here)
Matt J n me go to zupps after cleaning up after ACT
(Nancy couldn't go- homework overload. it was fun, but there'd have been a lot more with her there)
they tell us the dining room's closed. now we aren't about to argue, but these are die-hard niteowls here. so we order our pizza and sit down to wait. they probly thought they were doing us a nice favor, keeping us out of the cold while we waited, presumably to go to a nice warm home and eat pizza.
clueless.
we get our pizza and try to think of a place to eat. matt's house is right around the corner, so thats naturally out of the question. we end up sitting on the church steps eating from a box of pizza and waving at passing cars while listening to LP on a set of cheap headphones. here's the stats:
1. number of pizzas we ate
2. number of stoners who waved back to us
3. number of us sharing the box of pizza
4. number of times i thought we'd end up the victims of a drive-by shooting
5. number of pizza crusts chucked at the street
6. number of failed places to stash an empty pizza box
7. number of passers-by who got a free kareoke session from J
8. number of drivers who drove past without looking at us
9. hours past noon this happened
10. time we finally got home
poor nancy, missed alot this time. we've gotta plan ahead better.
i'm missing something dreadfully important here but my brain energy drops a bit past midnight.
\| peace out
\V/ STDs lmao

lights (off) ... cameras (on) ... action

cool. i finally was able to sigh up for the skool stage crew,described by the stage manager as " the least known club in the whole school, so don't try to use it to get out of class, because if you tell a teacher you have to go to a stage crew meeting, they won't know what you're talking about."... basically
other cool things about SC i learned here

1. being close to the drama club, we get to meet all the girls who come over because of the play
2. we are enemies with the damn drama kids, who think they're al that, but wouldn't be anything if there wasn't a stage and sets, although this is futile, because without actors, we're just a fancy light show
3. the stage crew is the most dangerous club at school including all sports teams and marching band. what can happen to you?
   
4. [start misery] you can fall off a ladder,
   
5. you can be electrocuted by The Monster
6. you can be crushed by a falling wall
7. you can fall off one of the spotlight towers
8. you can have a rack of chairs fall on you
9. you can be injured by the stage manager if he sees you snogging a girl more than working
10. you can be catapulted into the ceiling if you are holding onto a rope attatched to a light fixture that is suddenly let go of [end misery]
    
11. there was until last year an infamous "makeout couch", which was beaten to a pulp with a basebal bat for unexplained reasons.
12. the fan in The Monster has failed
13. if you dont volunteer you will be put to painting
14. we rarely do anything until the week before the show
15. as a freshman, Stage Manager was sitting on the Couch when according to him, a girl walked by and stated "I have a thong on" and showed him. this story was not told in full.
16. The Monster consists of a stone-age electrical control bank and some circut breakers, the former looking like what you'd expect to find in the evil genius' HQ from a 50s sci-fi flick This controls all lights and spots onstage. It gets horribly hot inside and the fan is broken. The main power lever creates sparks when pulled. one shock can numb your hand for a whole act of a play. Al lof this is enclosed in a metal cage.
    
17. stage crew has stayed as late as 7 after school. a good excuse to skip homework, which no one in SC does, anyway.
    
18. stage manager currently on good list. he hates rap and listens to "good stuff" inc Barenaked ladies
    

There we go. its great, isn't it? and, yes i do have a death wish. I volenteered for the Monster. Whoopee!!!!
ergh. 1 am and J-pop on my sterio. something new i'm trying.
|/

damn machine (welcome to subporno)

I am really fucking pissed at the computer right now, beacuse it just erased my last half hour's typing on this thing. here's what i salvaged:

okay, so here's whatsup:
1. Subprofile has been hacked
1.2 Probably by a porno engine, because they are always slinking around online, but more likely because a link labeled "Freeee porn" has appeared in about 1 out of every 2 Subprofiles.
2. This is not only a hassle, but an insult to our honor. To the gallows with them! jk
3. Subprofile.com is down as of at least 9 PM Jan 25 and so we can't directly access the control panel to fix this.
3.2 It's unlikely it'll be back on soon, and I know its also a dumb system, because it prefers IE over other browsers *cough*mozilla*cough*
4. I've decided to start looking for another host. Any suggestions?
5. Somewhat off-subject, but a couple of weeks age LiveJournal experienced a failure in which they lost all their servers and were offline for several days.
5.2 Is this the future? Cyberterrorism? in this day and age its believable. It's the perfect crime. Can be committed from anywhere, and with the right tech is practically untracable. Also is very good at causing panic and confusion.
6. Those who i know to have been hit by it(and sub branches);looking for a pattern:
.1 Myself
.2 Matt
.3 J's old sub
.4 Des
.5 NOT N's
.6 NOT J's new
6.2 That's the list i followed for now. Can't see any connection.
okay, that was the big event for today.

we just found out She isn't really allowed on IM. its really sad.... still have email tho. spending a lot of time talking with Her too. and then there's her, and him, and her, and it and ..... Shut up, brain! okay, new train of thought.
Yea, Train of Thought! Awesome record. for those out there still not listening to DreamTheater, get to it. If you prefer pop-rock over prog-metal, get the BE

^get the Beatles or Paul. Some Pink Floyd might do the world some good, too.
Ahk, its late. staying up till 1215 looking at pix with G is fine, but not wheni need to be up at 6.
(-_-)zzZZ
|/

totally groovy

Yay! Food Fast was Fun!!
eventhoughitwascutshortbecauseofthewonderfulsnowfall
thatwillcancelschoolnextweek
lemme see, started out around six, we came, sat down, played an icebreaker in which people get tied together in a group and have to collect clues, including up and down stairs. nuts lol. we also had an hourly prayer for people dying of hunger in the world (700 kids each hour!!) its a lot to think about. we had some more icebreakers, n lesson-awareness things on poverty and hunger. we had a couple of hours of Adoration/ meditation/ prayer later on. then they tried to get us settled down for the night lmao
josh had his fart machine and laser pointer, kids were throwing pillows and playing with masking tape like it was miraculous, did you ever know how much fun it is to run and slide on a tile floor? wheeeee! yea. that was good. plus i got to play Is There Anybody Out There? blasting from my headphones at about 3 am. oh, and LEDs and flashlights can make good light shows. hehehe
i feel sorry for the people still asleep at 730 this morning. they were woken to R-Unit (Rightous B) on the 300watt sterio. badd. last night was better. Meteora on the sterio. btw, did you know that country dancing to LP is fashonable? yep. okay, then today we went to colombushouse to do voulenteer work. it wasnt that bad. we got clothes closet duty. strange deja-vu.
okaym, goingm nowm. seem yallm laterm
|/

this must be a thursday...

okay, great story
had jazz band after school, came home like 4 with dad, mom left note saying she
was going to a book sale and would be back at 5. Well, by this point, its 6:30 and we;ve called mom but theres no answer. finally at about 7 she calls, saying she lost track of time. its bloody effing night outside!! ah well. it was funny. Now i have something to hold against her if i ever lose track of a curfew, haha.
fine, its getting late, going nuts here
ttfnmls

the ramblings of a madman

.:The passing of an agE:.
in a ragged burning sky/
as the winds began to cry/
and the snow begins to fly/
it's begun;
now for once its late at night/
and we've just fallen to fright/
in a single bright spotlight/
from on high;
and they opened up the gates/
to welcome in the dogs of hades/
their teeth sharp like mithril blades/
as they shine;
'twas a radiant blazing sight/
as the howling wind's song died/
and the people ran to hide/
here's the sun;
in a furor of the skies/
in our brilliant, white eyes/
the clouds part but our surprise/
can't go on;
as they sleep and sometimes dream/
its dark minions come to clean/
by guarding thoughts and holding gleams/
of the past;
and following in one by one/
the minions bold, their works have done/
in holding fast the time to come/
in the void;
and the next celestial burn/
caused seas to quake and lakes to churn/
and the secret ones' faith turn/
as is done;

at one- oh- four

lifeteen last night ( 6 hours ago) went reasonably well. no one knows who to help out/ clean up with about four execptions (you can feel good about yourselves; you know who you are!) but otherwise we came out short on time as usual. not a problem. erm- there was something i wanted to express in words that loses something in the text, but i forgot anyway. pretty useless i am. yep. so then theres the food fast/ lock in next week ! happy about that. the [west haven mob] are planning some fun stuff beginning with is there anybody out there? and culminating with an hour of the coocking channel( hopefully) during the fast. haha. okay, thats enough. i;m now so tired i cannot spell the word "who" and tried hoe, hwo, how, and wh before finding my miwstakes,
so good morening to you all
| /
M)

the second list

have you ever looked at those "how to survive a worst case scenario" book? they're excellent entertainment. i mean, maybe some people who read it will later use the knowledge to treat food poisoning or quickly cure a hangover, but who needs to know how to jump into a dumpster from a window? here are some of the best (worst) i found in the book:
(#)How to survive a jump into a dumpster from a window
(#)how to win a swordfight
(#)how to find water on a deserted island
(#)how to slip away unnoticed
(#)how to spot a con artist
(#)how to survive if you have no one to kiss on New Years Eve
(#)how to take a punch
(#)how to survive being attacked by a bear
(#)how to put out a brush fire

yea, they're all serious. lemme give an example- "how to survive if you have no one to kiss on NYE" - 1, kiss a pet; 2, kiss yourself in a mirror ( and wipe it off afterwards); 3, kiss a celeb on tv; 4, call up a friend and make kissing sounds; etc.
or, there's the " how to slip away unnoticed" - 1, find a bathroom or changing room to go to; change your outfit, especially jacket, glasses, hat, or face; 2, back windows or doors make good escape routs; never use an alarmed door unless you have no other option because the alarm will draw attention to yourself; 3, carrying a purse or shopping bag, besides having an accessory, can provide a place to stash a change of clothes; and so on.
yes, this book is completely serious. i found it on the bookshelf at AMAA (www.amaakicks.com). both are great fun, but the martial arts is much more practical.
damn, its late.
peace, man
|/
M)

greetings, fellow hitchhikers

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the stnadard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many ommisions and contains much that is aphocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian woek in two important respects.
First, it is slightly cheaper; and second, it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large, friendly letters on its cover.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles form the stage, while the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet- or more frequently around a completely different planet.
Many worlds have now banned their act altogether, sometimes for artistic reasons, but most commonly because the band's public address system contravenes local strategic arms limitations treaties.
Now that's rock. Wish there was a good rock concert local sometime soon. Till then i'm stuck with a (totally cool) Transatlantic Live DVD from my sister :-D thanx J!
erghh... need... get.. offline
later

last day of the

finally! no school tomorrow- 4 day weekend! thank you
feeling slightly dumb and slightly superior. let me explain
school cafeteria- i'm looking ar a dollar bill with "wheresgeorge.com" stamped all over it. Dude is sitting a bit up the table, asking for money. Dude says 'can i see that' and i hand it to Dude and of course Dude gets up and walks over to the soda machine. i dont even waste my time following Dude. i'll just charge interest. dont know why i feel slightly good about this tho.
notre dame held some meeting for freshmen parents, said it was about standardized test results. haha, funny. i guessed- correctly- that they would turn it into some kind of development meeting, and they did. the first 45 minutes were spent informing us of the great new trimester schedule they will be implementing in 2000 and bloody 6. simply fabulous. then in the last 20 minutes they finally came around and explained the basics of what the result sheet they handed us meant. after that was over i got to go to choir practice for the sunday mass, which is very fun. it would be even better if more faces showed, but you cant ask for it all.
now just chillin till i fall asleep, looking at LoTR art and listenin to LP underground- dedicated. yea... okay, now for my first list: The Laws of Applied Terror

1. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.
   
2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
   
3. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
   
4. Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
   (The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.)
   
5. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
   (If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live)

now doesnt that make more sense? lmao signing off...

i yelled back when i heard thunder

but i'm down to one last breath
and with it let me say, let me say
hold me now, i'm six feet from the edge
and i'm thinking, maybe six feet
ain't so far down
i rediscovered Creed sometime last year- one last breath was in the soundtrack of a star trek armada mod. i heard the song and suddenly was hooked on this new band. after a bit of looking around i saw the name creed and remembered that my aunt had given me copies of two creed albums. so i looked and yep i had it all sitting on my computer for the last 6 months or so, having never listened to it. ah, the simple things in life.
amazingly i had almost no homework. only math, but thats not a lot of thinking. therefore i had time to go to my martial arts class. very much fun, but tiring. i'm falling asleep again. i'll add more in the am or after school. maybe ill try getting on in school. afaik they dont have any sites blocked, altho i havent tried besides using Google to search for pics for "Fool on the Hill" and getting porno in return.
gNite

the continuing story of

delayed school this morning, so i got to sleep past 6. not that is helps our schedule. you'd think any proper hs would cut a class or two off, right? not here. instead we get everything sqeezed into a day that's 1 1/2 hours shorter. finally got home after jazz band till 4, and now already i have to run to do homework. \V/

enuma elish...

"In the beginning..."
okay, so i gave in. have been ... encouraged by friends to start a livejournal or the like, but i'm different. so i go get a blog. found this place off a link from shanti so much thanks to her, whoever she is.
ok so whats there to say? i live in west haven ct and go to bloody notre dame high school. nothing interesting there. the rest of my friends go to these really cool schools- waste haven (that's West Haven High for you Outsiders), platt tech, hopkins, sound school...
arggh, cant think now. this may turn out to be bad. i dont need another reason to be addicted to the computer. plus its quarter one way around midnight and i have school tomorrow unless we get an intervention. gone for now...