laptop stuff

lml


more ranting and raving about confirmation, school, and all this other great stuff

well, first off, its 9/25 . more than a month after started betting on 2 weeks for ryan/maggie. and matt tells me at the first lifeteen that he 'knows', in his way i guess, that ryan's dumping her for rachel. back to the beginning. ryan is going to be killed. by us. maybe ill help. as ive said the only nice way for this to end is for her to break it off, and for everyone to know she wanted it. otherwise there's gonna be blood, i think. okay, maybe over estimating. but people are gonna be beastly to ryan.

wow, that wasnt even the point of this yarn. brb getting my blog-in-progress offline.

ok, sorry that all ive bene doing recently is ranting on here, but thats the only thing interesting happening around, usaully.
like, last night was the first (of 5!!only 5) confirmation meetings for sophomores. uhh, didnt like it. to put it basically.
starters, more paperwork. i mean, how many times do we have to fill out the same damn information? i mean, we've sent baptism certs, birth certs, commuinion dates, confession dates, parents names, address, phone, your name, your school, your grade, your email, your parents cell #s, your cell #, i dont know why i dont lie about half this and see what one they actually use, parents maiden name (yes,lets make sure you're not stealing an identity to get yourself confirmed, that happens alot), place of birth, church attending, andsoonandsoforth
yah
and since we didnt (my conf class) didnt have to write the essays last year or the year before, we al lhave to write 2 pagelongatleast essays, on our chosen confirmation name and sponser; as i said to nancy, im probly gonna BS them both, no malintentions or disrespect intended toward God, but its not something i consider important, justifying my choices of faith to other people. [and i did - about 2 pages worth total lol] also, that 1st nite, i was gettin angry/ mad/stressed out at "the whole damn system", or something like that, but also that i was *happy* getting angry like that. dont nkow why, somewhat scared of it, but it was a *very* good feeling...

[think thats it all this time]
[music: Hallelujah; i forget who]im forgetting wayy lots of stuff i wanna say here, but im falling asleep here too. darn
latah

\V/

yah, so im sort of way behind on this

lml
ok, sorry that all ive bene doing recently is ranting on here, but thats the only thing interesting happening around, usaully.
like, last night was the first (of 5!! confirmation meetings for sophomores. uhh, didnt like it. to put it basically.
starters, more paperwork. i mean, how many times do we have to fill out the same damn information? i mean, we've sent baptism certs, birth certs, commuinion dates, confession dates, parents names, address, phone, your name, your school, your grade, your email, your parents cell #s, your cell #, i dont know why i dont lie aboujt half this and see what one they actually use, parents maiden name (yes), place of birth, church attending, andsoonandsoforth
yah
and since we didnt (my conf class) didnt have to write the essays last year or the year before, we al lhave to write 2 pagelongatleast essays, on our chosen confirmation name and sponser; as i said to nancy, im probably gonna BS them both- no malintentions or disrespect intended toward God, but its not something i consider important, justifying my choices of faith to other people [and i did - about 2 pages worth total lol] also that 1st nite, i was gettin angry /mad /pissed /stressed out at "the whole damn system" or something like that, but also that i was happy getting angry like that. don;t know why, kinda scared of it now, but at the time it was a *very* good feeling...
\V/

lml

14 sept
experianced alot of schwindel coincidences today
1. going to my locker at school, had sudden urge to blow my nose; no tissues anywhere in sight, and i dont carry them. look at that, there's one in my pocket from yesterday, when i grabbed one to sneeze in the car and got an extra AND these were the same pair of pants that i had put in the laundry the day befor eafter school, and that day i remember mom complaining that there was another tissue in the wash. well, i had no other pair for school, so i had to get these agian.
2. at mass, the entrance song was to the melody of the Chorale from Jupiter, which i'm totally obsessed with. thinking of asking mr bellucci for the (kickin') piano part to it.
3. at mass, again, the first reading mentions Moses in the desert with the israelits and the serpents. the day before, at like 11 at nite, i was researching for our hebrew history project and came across this guy who was famous for destroying the staff moses made(by God's command, so that the people who were bitten by the serpents could look at it and survive) because the people were starting to worship it as an idol.
4. it was soo damn hot today. came home, thinking of stripping and crashing in front of the fan or something. threw my shirt over the bathroom door, forgot about it. go to take my shower, mom tells me my towel is dirty and to put it in the wash. ok. i go to close the door, its sticking. i figure its from the heat- it swelled- but then i see my shirt on the door, and its like, good i can put that on after shower so i dont hafta walk around nude (usually just use the towel for that purpose)
yah, lame lmao i know
but nice
oyea, and just worth mentioning
that for the last 2 or 3 nites ive been up till 1 or 2 am doing homework- mostly the hebrew history project till about 10/11 then the normal work( which looks like its gonna be at lest 6" worth of textbook a nite, sometime s more. but now today i get triple study, so i get the math stuff for tomorrow done early, and the enghlish from last nght that i left go cuz i had study before english. and with math done (2") and no bio(3,4")- test tomorro- i end up with about nothing. still need 3" of lit book, to read some of Julius Caesar, but that can wait. so i go home, crash, work on the ion frig, discover GoogleEarth- google it, its sick- and spent a happy hour or two looking up everyone i know. then class, then finally come home at 930 and start JC. well, its 1 now, i finished JC at about 12. of ourse, that includes hunting the fly in the living room, and listening to OK Computer while working., but its still not done, SHH. were supposed to repeat today's sched tomorrow cuz the mass interrupted stuff. if we dont, im screwed both ways. not only do i only have 40 minutes of study, but english jumps to first per, instead of alst like it was today. and i need TA to study bio, prob.
okay, needed to write all this down before it all went away again.

\V/

Nobody in particular, just the whole fucking system

lml
yeah, thats who i have a problem with. the whole damn 'lets make them write essays about random shit so they feel like we taught them something they can apply' thing. what happened to paragraphs and worksheets? maybe one essay, fine, but not the whole 'if theyre not writing at least one essay a week, something's wrong'. this is now school. DO math problems, write a paper, memorize some facts or vocab. and this is life. too? lots more interesting things can apply here. like, how bout some real electives?

i do thinking. i dont write. understand that, ND. I. Do not . write. so leave off with the ::: , okay? what else is there, must be something? and what does this prepare us for? analyzing newspaper articles? comparing our lives with the greek gods?
im halfway through the fucking essay, i have a total mind blank, im experiancing involuntary muscle shutdowns every once in a while, the whole thing looks like pot still, and im at paragraph 3 , halfway down page 2. not lookin good
and im either writing in circles or it doesnt fit at all. i try to make some nice flow, and it ends u plike this. do they want me to try, or just print some frikkin barebones kit? with al lthe sharp edges and no colorful lines?
me: Well, you know what? you can take whatever im really pissed about here and shove it...
[a passing jet liner mutes out most of what he says]
...and break it off so that only a doctor can remove it!
\V/

i must look like i walked through hell and back

lml
because that's how i feel right about now. im supposed to be working on this damn essay for school, im maaaad tired and i cant htink for shit. so im writing in here so it sounds like im typing, haha, and cuz i hate this, and just to keep myself from faling alseep, which is what i want ot do right now, and so i can think about it a bit more, and to put this in, form Fahrenheit 451:

Listen. When I was a boy my grandfather died, and he was a sculpter. He was also a very kind man who had a lot of love to give our world, and he helped clean up the slum in town; and he made toys for us and he did a million things in his lifetime; he was always busy with his hands. And when he died, I suddenly realized I wasn't crying for him at all, but for the things he did. I cried because he would never dothem again, he woyuld never carve another piece of wood or help us raise doves and pigeons in the backyard or play the violin the way he did. He was individual. He was an important man. I've never gotten over his death. Often I think what wonderful carvings never came to birth because he died. How many jokes are missing from the world, and how many homign pigeons untouched by his hands. He shaped the world. He did things to the world. The world was bankrupted of ten million fine actions the night he passed on.

totally unrelated, but its awesome.
here i go again to try to write. as i read it i can tell the paper sucks ass badly, it barely is coherant, but i dont care anymore. so much for "let's see how good i can get this year, show off for college". maybe its "lets transfer". or maybe i should besaying "let's not procrastinate like this, and then we can get some sleep"
yay
\V/